Someone emailed me the other day to ask how I find joy in my life. She said she was having difficulty having joy.
This article discusses a few of the ways I find joy and peace for me. However, understand that we each have to find joy in the way that is best for us because what is joyful for me may not be for you.
Attitude plays a vital role in how much joy and peace we have in our lives.
Let me give some examples.
One day a friend and I were discussing her need for dental work. At the time she was around 73 years old. She said, “I’m having dental problems that’s going to cost me a lot of money to repair.” She goes on to say, “At my age, I’m not going to put that kind of money in my mouth when I might not live that long”.
I said, “You are willing to bypass getting needed dental work done that will help to improve your health”. “What if you live a longer time than you expect?” “You’ll at least have decent tools to eat with.”
“But if you spent the money and died a month later, it won’t make a damn bit of difference. It’s not going to affect you going forward”.
She called me that next week and said, “I thought about what you said and I’m going to get my teeth fixed”.
Alright, you ask, what exactly does this have to do with joy?
The way you think has to do with joy. She has removed some of the joy from her life by thinking about what she should or should not do today based on her thoughts about how long she might live.
Another example is that I love to take bubble baths. I mentioned to my neighbor that I was looking for an apartment but it had to have a bathtub in it. She looked at me and said, “One of these days you’re not going to be able to get in and out of a bathtub”.
Uh? One of these days!! I know that if I live long enough one of these days, I certainly will not be able to get in and out of the tub. But that’s “one of these days”. That’s not today.
I try to learn from my past, and plan for my future but live for today; for the moment-
I’m not going to be concerned about how long I might live when spending money on my health or being concerned about what I may not be able to do in the future that’s going to impact what I can do now. It’s all about how you think.
I live in a 55+ apartment and another small thing that brings me joy is color. In most of the apartments that I have seen in the area where I live the walls are mostly painted an ugly eggshell color. When I downsized from my house to an apartment, I made sure that I would be able to paint the walls because having to look at that ugly color would have been depressing to me.
I had my living room painted in a lilac color, the dining area a light yellow, and the kitchen a light orange-red. My bedroom is light grey. I love it.
The light grey in the bedroom is a soothing, peaceful color and the brighter colors in the kitchen and dining area give me energy.
A couple of neighbors were visiting and one said she would like to paint and the other said for what? You are in an apartment and you don’t know how long you’ll be here (although she wasn’t looking to move).
Attitude folks, the way you think.
Why would you refrain from making your environment as pleasant and beautiful as you want it just because you are a senior living in an apartment?
My surroundings are things that make me happy. I love contemporary so my apartment is contemporary. I love the feeling I have when my environment is organized and clean so I’m happier cleaning my apartment than I am at a social event.
Just sitting and watching the trees and lakes or whatever nature offers is my peace.
I’m not a church-going, praying religious person. My religion/joy is my straight-ahead jazz collection. Deep breathing while connecting to my higher/inner self is my peace.
The point that I’m trying to make here is that if you find a lack of joy and peace in your life, you have to find what you need to change in your thinking and attitude. For me, it’s the small things.
If I got up every day with the kind of thinking that I hear from some of the people I talk with I’d be in a constant state of depression.
And I don’t allow others to bring me down which many will do if you let them :).
So, try to find what makes you happy and find your joy.
But if you can’t find your joy, don’t try to take it from others.